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Pactos entre los dos

Al momento de la crianza es importante tratar de conciliar las ideas, pues son un equipo de padres y pareja. Algunos tips evitarán que las diferencias se conviertan en batallas campales.

Por: Ida Núñez

Las discrepancias surgen en todas las parejas, especialmente al momento de educar, lo ideal es aprender a manejarlas para evitar que el hogar se convierta en un campo minado, no sólo por la supervivencia de la pareja sino también por el bien de los hijos.

El dialogo, es la base principal para evitar que los pequeños altercados se conviertan en una guerra fría en la pareja. Es muy importante no cerrar la línea de comunicación, pues ambos estarán involucrados con la crianza; la madre recuperándose mientras sus hormonas tratan de equilibrarse y el padre, que en ocasiones se siente aislado del vínculo entre mamá e hijo.

Las discusiones surgen por diferencias de opiniones con las rutinas de los hijos; sin embargo, la calma es indispensable, pues es el comienzo de una vida llena de decisiones para guiar a los vástagos en la vida. Los psicólogos también sugieren sacar la bandera blanca del respeto, dialogar para encontrar soluciones o posiciones neutrales, que evitarán pequeñas nubes oscuras con potencial de convertirse en tormentas, las cuales a la larga crean problemas irreconciliables en la pareja.

Soluciones prácticas

A continuación algunos de los cuadros más comunes que suelen ser motivo de desacuerdos:

Pequeños grandes problemas

Nube en el horizonte: él no está de acuerdo en que bañes al bebé en la habitación.
Solución: no es algo como para montar en cólera, tal vez puedas ceder y decirle que te ayude a instalar la tina y llevar el agua a la habitación del nene. Si se trata de algo más serio, como un problema de elección de guardería o si es viable cambiar de pediatra; lo mejor es sacar la bandera roja, inhalar y exhalar para hablar del asunto, sin gritar o tratar de imponer tu propio criterio, recuerda es vital que las dos partes expongan su punto de vista y conciliar.

Conserva la calma

Nube en el horizonte: gritas porque no te gustó que le puso al bebé, un mameluco gigante o algo similar.
Solución: con tus gritos es seguro que conseguirás asustar al chiquitín. Así que lo primero que debes hacer es calmarte para poder iniciar un dialogo. Es necesario explicarle al papá donde se encuentra la ropa del tamaño del niño, los biberones o

simplemente dejarle la ropa adecuada, recuerda que está aprendiendo a desenvolverse en su nuevo rol y aflorará su propio estilo.

Comparte la crianza

Nube en el horizonte: no aceptas que te ayuden a cuidar al nene, especialmente en los primeros meses.
Solución: por lo regular mamá siempre tenderá a ser sobreprotectora, pero si eres afortunada de tener una pareja debes compartir con él. Es una realidad que en las mujeres aflora el sentido de protección; sin embargo, papá está dispuesto a aprender, es una realidad que deben compartir las tareas. Si por el contrario sientes que no obtienes ayuda masculina, platícalo tal vez él no coopera puesto que tú no lo permites.

Respeto

Nube en el horizonte: cuando el bebé cumple el primer año, empieza su camino y en ese momento necesita la guía firme de los padres.
Solución: es importante apoyar la autoridad de cualquiera de los dos, frente a las decisiones que se toman en relación con el pequeño o las instrucciones que se le den, para evitar incongruencias que dificulten el aprendizaje del menor. Hay que ser un equipo al momento de educar, recuérdalo.

Firmeza

Nube en el horizonte: el nene tratará de salirse con la suya y siempre buscará una segunda opinión para ganar.
Solución: ambos son un frente común y el chiquito, no puede encontrar ninguna grieta de discrepancia entre los padres para burlar la autoridad. Si no concuerdas con la decisión de papá, eso discútelo en privado y no delante del niño. Así tampoco emergerá el ogro y el angelito y aprenderá a respetar las decisiones de los adultos.

La tarea de educar no es fácil, pero si ambos son el soporte del otro, conformarán un equipo seguro. No es sencillo mantener la calma, pero hay que intentarlo a diario para lograr una crianza feliz, que los complemente como pareja y no provoque distanciamiento.

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