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Mi hijo no saluda

Damos a conocer un comportamiento que se puede convertir en problema con menores de 5 años, te damos algunas pistas para que sepas cómo actuar.

Por: Claudia Rodríguez Acosta, psicoanalista

Los niños aprenden reglas de convivencia conforme crecen y le son transmitidas por sus padres, con quienes conviven frecuentemente.

Recomendaciones como decir «por favor», «gracias», taparse la boca al estornudar, no escupir, saludar o no interrumpir una plática las aprenden gradualmente acorde a su evolución física y emocional.

Reglas de convivencia

Debemos tener claro que es un proceso en el cual habrá avances y retrocesos, pero sobre todo, en el que los chiquitines seguirán las reglas de convivencia adultas dependiendo de varios factores, por ejemplo: si están enojados, cansados, tienen sueño, son tímidos o si están entretenidos jugando.

Reconociendo que los infantes no son adultos pequeños, evita exigirles actúen con cierta madurez conductual y emocional en las circunstancias que lo requieren.

Difícilmente un adulto lo puede lograr, con más razón para los nenes es algo complicado.

Prueba y error

Específicamente sobre el tema del saludo, es importante transmitirle con el ejemplo y con palabras, el por qué debe saludar y despedirse.

Hay que explicarle que es una regla de urbanidad para poder convivir con los demás y crecer en un grupo en el que exista el respeto.

Frases como: «cuando lleguemos dile hola a todos», «así como papá y yo saludamos, tú también debes saludar y despedirte», «sé que te da pena saludar a gente que no conoces, yo voy a estar contigo y sólo tienes que decir hola», son fáciles de entender para un chiquitín.

Es muy importante manifestarle que si no quiere, no es necesario dar besos ni abrazos, con que digas “hola tía”, está bien y hay que acompañarlo en este proceso.

Como padres, no esperen que los angelitos efectúen inmediatamente las sugerencias.

En algunos casos no tienen mayor problema con realizarlas y en otros tardan más, incluso en ocasiones lo hacen y otras veces no.

Desembrolla el asunto

Algunas recomendaciones para padres de niños que se resisten a saludar son:

1. Entender que tarde o temprano lo harán y ser pacientes sin dejar de recordarles la conveniencia de saludar y despedirse.

2. No convertir el tema en una lucha de poder ni en un asunto que se vuelva problemático y de más importancia, de la que tiene en realidad.

3. Tener claro como padres, que el saludo es importante como parte de la convivencia dentro de una sociedad, pero no puedes obligar a tu hijo a hacerlo con tal de que otros adultos estén contentos (abuelos, tíos, maestros y amigos de los padres).

4. Pregúntale por qué no quiere saludar e identifica si es un comportamiento frecuente o le pasa con ciertas personas. Tal vez hay adultos con quienes se siente incómodo y hay que estar atentos como padres a eso.

Puede resultar que lo abrumen, sean insistentes o lo molesten.

5. Jamás lo obligues a saludar, mucho menos a dar besos o abrazos.

6. Así como los adultos presentan diferentes estados de ánimo, muestran predilección por ciertas personas y tienen determinadas características de personalidad; así también cada infante es diferente, no es un robot que saluda sólo porque alguien se lo pide.

7. Es importante saber que a nadie, sea niño o adulto, le gusta que lo abracen repentinamente, lo carguen, lo aprieten y lo llenen de besos, mucho menos si es alguien a quien no frecuenta. ¿Por qué los pequeños lo tendrían que aceptar?

8. Ayúdale, un niño solamente va a reaccionar frente a algo que no le gusta, por ejemplo, va a llorar o gritar si lo obligan a saludar.

Es muy importante que los adultos intervengan con tíos, abuelos, amigos, demás familiares o conocidos y marquen límites. Por ejemplo: “ya te dijo hola abue, pero hoy no quiere dar beso”.

9. No lo pongas en evidencia cuando no quiera saludar, habla con él después y pregúntale cómo se siente, pero no lo reprendas frente a los demás.

10. Lo más importante es el bienestar del infante, hay que tener claro y transmitirle el valor del saludo, que es una enseñanza de la convivencia y no se hace sólo para complacer a otros adultos o quedar bien con ellos.

11. Evita condicionarlo, como: “si no saludas, no te doy chocolate”, “los Reyes Magos te están viendo y si no saludas no te traerán nada”, “si no saludas entonces no podrás ver la tele”.

Saludar o no saludar no tiene que ver con un juicio de valor y mucho menos con premios y castigos.

Saludar es un hábito que se va aprendiendo a través de un proceso dinámico de interacción personal, los infantes deben aprender a convivir y a sentirse a gusto al tratar con los demás; lo que es muy diferente a forzarlos o amenazarlos.

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