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Logra que te escuche

¿Tu pequeño parece ignorarte cada que le hablas? Descubre las estrategias para que sólo sea un episodio pasajero.

Por: Sabrina Zavaleta

Es frecuente entre los cuatro y cinco años, a pesar de que le pidas haga algo, repetidas veces, parece que nadie hablo con él. Es parte de afirmar su independencia, pero es muy seguro te deja frustrado. Lamentamos informarte, que gritarle no será de ayuda alguna, seguirá ignorándote; sin embargo, tampoco es algo que debes dejar pasar, pues se puede desatar berrinches, actitudes desafiantes y frases negativas, es decir, una bola de nieve cada vez más gigante.

Probablemente cuando no escucha, no es el problema, sino más bien un síntoma. Por ello, tendrán que aflorar tus aptitudes detectivescas, para descubrir que está ocurriendo en realidad. Posiblemente desea ser escuchado y desafiarte es la forma de atraer tu atención.

¿Parece difícil? En realidad, sólo hay que implementar las estrategias adecuadas:

  • En el mismo nivel: asegúrate de inclinarte de tal manera que ambos se vean a los ojos, no sólo llamarás su atención con el contacto visual, también te cercioras de que te escucha y fortaleces la comunicación. Nunca le grites de una habitación a otra; deja de hacer cosas para hablar directamente con él.
  • Explícate correctamente: tal vez el asunto es que no indicas adecuadamente. En vez de decirle ponte los zapatos, usa: trae tus zapatos y póntelos por favor, si caminas descalzo es probable que te resfríes.
  • Mensajes positivos: obtendrás más dependiendo de lo que pidas, si dices “No andes descalzo” le será más difícil ignorar el comando. La cuestión es cambiar lo positivo por lo negativo, “podrías ponerte las pantuflas, para que vengas a platicar conmigo”, ejercerá una reacción positiva.
  • Ten cuidado con lo que dices: si cada que él te pide algo le contestas “no”, obtendrás lo mismo. Prueba nuevamente a ser positivo. Si te dice: ¿puedo comer unas papas antes de acostarme? Contéstale: que te parece si mejor vamos a que te lea un cuento. Te aseguramos que brincará de la emoción hasta la cama, para escucharte.
  • Mantenlo divertido: no quiere ordenar su cuarto, después de hacer la tarea; inicia una competencia, dile que la persona que ponga más objetos en su lugar ganará y se llevará una estrella en la frente. No habrá manera de contradecirte.
  • Frases concisas: no le recites una larga instrucción o lo regañes, antes de decirle que haga algo. Será sumamente sencillo, si le indicas” ha llegado la hora de comer, lava tus manos y siéntate”.
  • Dale las gracias: se sentirá motivado, si esa sencilla palabra va por delante, prueba a decir “gracias por recoger tu plato de la cena” en vez de “no olvides que debes levantar tu plato”. Hay un dicho que cita: en la forma de pedir está el dar.
  • Asegúrate de que entendió: es muy sencillo, sólo pídele te repita la instrucción, no olvides mirarlo a la cara, mientras lo hace. Sentirá tu empatía y rápidamente realizará la tarea. Obvio, recuerda que las instrucciones deben ser cortas, se trata un niño pequeño.
  • Dale una oportunidad: de repente te das cuenta de que no obedeció, sólo pregúntale ¿sabes por qué la pijama está en el suelo? Seguro le darás tiempo de recogerla y ponerla en el cesto, sin lucha de por medio.
  • No están en el ejército: recuerda que es tu hijo y no un militar y de vez en cuando puedes ser flexible. Tal vez te pida cinco minutos más para jugar, accede y dile “que te parece si jugamos cinco minutos más y después nos lavamos los dientes para ir a dormir”. Surtirá el efecto deseado.

Niños y adultos merecen ser escuchados y tal vez ahora que tu hijo ha logrado llamar tu atención, dejará de ignorarte o contestar negativamente cuando le pidas algo. Lo mejor, es que representa una oportunidad para convertirte y convertirlo en tu cómplice.

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